Reflections
hey there... long time no see. =)
yesterday, went out with ellisse, my neighbour-cum-good friend. we went to Bugis then i bought my mum a make-up bag for Xmas. she liked it. ellisse helped me choose which design... so i thank her for making my mum happy. ellisse bought a baby blue school bag. the lady was very cheerful and funkay... she reminded me of Olinda Cho from SI. =) they both had a great personality and short, styled hair. and both quite plump. she gave ellisse a 25% discount! tell me: cool or not!
anyway, after that, we went to cineleisure to meet up with ellisse's friend, melissa. melissa's quite chio... tall, fair, slim, pretty... good-looking on the whole. =) so now, i know 6 melissa-s. not bad.
then ellisse and melissa went to take neos... i bought a present for yue chin. =) hope she likes it! at 3.05pm, me, ellisse and mel were browsing at Bits & Pieces. then joelynn ng and jacqueline ho came! =) they went to buy tickets for National Treasure, while me, ellisse and melissa continued browsing. then after that, around 3.30pm, i went to take neos with joelynn and jacq. ellisse and mel went off... to Kinokuniya i think. ellisse wanted to use her $30 voucher... for a book for her mum i suppose. after taking neos, me, joelynn and jacq went to get nachos and iced tea. then we watched National Treasure. ellisse called me during the movie twice... -.- my mum also... -.- i think they collaborated. but i digress.
so after the show, three of us went to the toilet. then met up with joelynn's mum, who helped us take pics using a camera! haha... i felt like a tourist. but hey, no harm done! :D so that was yesterday. my dad's gonna get me a handphone plan... tonight! at last! =) for the past 3/2 yrs, i've been using a pathetic hi-card. so what made my dad change his mind?
i'll tell you.
'twas about a week ago. i was sitting in my room thinking. then i started crying... sniffing actually. so, i went to my bro's room and we talked. then i really started crying, something which i haven't done for the past six years, not counting those incidents that i cried due to physical pain.
so what did i cry about? i had a BIG family, my parents earn enough money, i live in a luxurious house. there's nothing to complain about: i was born with a silver spoon stuck in my damned mouth. i was your typical rich kid. well, maybe not that rich but i would say above average. i'm in the GEP, in NYGH, go on vacations every major holiday... i led a happy-enough life.
but i'm still not satisfied. you might think that i'm a i-want-everything-in-the-world-and-will-keep-on-stomping-my-leather-shoed-feet-till-you-get-me-what-i-want kind of person. but i seriously doubt it. and if you think that there are incidents where i'm like that, kindly do tell me.
anyway, i'm gonna tell you what i told my bro. maybe not word-for-word but a close enough version.
1) when i got my hp, it was in P6. when my bro got his hp, it was in P5, behind my dad's back. my bro started off with a plan but i get what? a hi-card. in P6. ok... so maybe that's not so bad... but my dad refused to let me get a plan. why? cos i'm "not mature enough... maybe later." so he's telling me that my brother was "mature enough" at P5 and i'm not at SEC ONE. i can prove him wrong ANY FREAKIN' DAY.
2) since the start of this hols, my dad's been "do your homework. then do your revision. then do your tuition homework." ok. it for my own good... not need to tell me. so can i go out and, say, watch a movie with friends every week? "NO." so my pathetic life revolves around homework, project work and revision. to sum it ALL up, studies. how (pathetically) nice.
3) my bro has a gf. for about a week or so now... she's a great girl. my dad's not happy... but not not-happy enough to tell my bro to end the relationship. so can a guy contact me? can i go out with my bro and his male friends whom i do not like-in-that-sense at all? NO. :)
4) i believe that after a certain incident that happened this June, i've grown up enough to handle issues like BGRs, flirting, etc. pretty well. i've made a rules too. i won't get into a relationship with a guy till i'm Sec 3 or something. if i tell my dad that a guy likes me, he'll flip. and a there's a guy who likes me. so do i tell my dad? no. why? he'll flip.
i've tried. and he flipped.
so don't tell me that i should give it a go.
I ALREADY DID.
so what's the problem?: i can't have a guy liking me. even though i only like him as a friend. why?: my dad'll kill the guy.
5) lastly, i can't talk on the phone with the guy that likes me. or any guy in that case. why? my dad or mum will intercept the call, listen in for awhile, then cut the line. happened twice. in a week. and other times, they just listen in. they just invade my privacy. and the next day, they don't say anything. so how do i know? i'm a smart girl... i know. i can tell. and add in a dash of womens' intuition, i can practically predict when they'll intercept. but too bad i'm not a woman yet.
that's about all i can recall for now. i've realised after this crying incident that i've been bottling up 6 years of jealousy, angst, hatred, etc. and now its all flowing out. i feel much better, better than i've ever been in years... but i feel sad too.
my bro told my dad and mum what i told him that night. which is what i typed above. so now, my mum's avoiding me, treating me colder, while my dad's trying hard to make amendments.
it hurts. as in the way my mum's reacting. i'd rather hold everything in for a couple more years than to have my mum act this way towards me.
my vision's blurred now...
you might think that i'm upset among minor things... maybe you're right. maybe all these ramblings are the result of adolscence. maybe i'll look back on this blog entry and say "Noreen, that was stupid." maybe its because of all the hormones in my bloodstream.
but for now, its a form of therapy... you know, the say-it-all-out-and-feel-much-better one.
i'd probably be more mellow when school reopens... still as cheerful, but more level-headed. much more level-headed. since i've let these emotions out. thanks for reading... i really appreciate it a lot.
thanks. =)
yesterday, went out with ellisse, my neighbour-cum-good friend. we went to Bugis then i bought my mum a make-up bag for Xmas. she liked it. ellisse helped me choose which design... so i thank her for making my mum happy. ellisse bought a baby blue school bag. the lady was very cheerful and funkay... she reminded me of Olinda Cho from SI. =) they both had a great personality and short, styled hair. and both quite plump. she gave ellisse a 25% discount! tell me: cool or not!
anyway, after that, we went to cineleisure to meet up with ellisse's friend, melissa. melissa's quite chio... tall, fair, slim, pretty... good-looking on the whole. =) so now, i know 6 melissa-s. not bad.
then ellisse and melissa went to take neos... i bought a present for yue chin. =) hope she likes it! at 3.05pm, me, ellisse and mel were browsing at Bits & Pieces. then joelynn ng and jacqueline ho came! =) they went to buy tickets for National Treasure, while me, ellisse and melissa continued browsing. then after that, around 3.30pm, i went to take neos with joelynn and jacq. ellisse and mel went off... to Kinokuniya i think. ellisse wanted to use her $30 voucher... for a book for her mum i suppose. after taking neos, me, joelynn and jacq went to get nachos and iced tea. then we watched National Treasure. ellisse called me during the movie twice... -.- my mum also... -.- i think they collaborated. but i digress.
so after the show, three of us went to the toilet. then met up with joelynn's mum, who helped us take pics using a camera! haha... i felt like a tourist. but hey, no harm done! :D so that was yesterday. my dad's gonna get me a handphone plan... tonight! at last! =) for the past 3/2 yrs, i've been using a pathetic hi-card. so what made my dad change his mind?
i'll tell you.
'twas about a week ago. i was sitting in my room thinking. then i started crying... sniffing actually. so, i went to my bro's room and we talked. then i really started crying, something which i haven't done for the past six years, not counting those incidents that i cried due to physical pain.
so what did i cry about? i had a BIG family, my parents earn enough money, i live in a luxurious house. there's nothing to complain about: i was born with a silver spoon stuck in my damned mouth. i was your typical rich kid. well, maybe not that rich but i would say above average. i'm in the GEP, in NYGH, go on vacations every major holiday... i led a happy-enough life.
but i'm still not satisfied. you might think that i'm a i-want-everything-in-the-world-and-will-keep-on-stomping-my-leather-shoed-feet-till-you-get-me-what-i-want kind of person. but i seriously doubt it. and if you think that there are incidents where i'm like that, kindly do tell me.
anyway, i'm gonna tell you what i told my bro. maybe not word-for-word but a close enough version.
1) when i got my hp, it was in P6. when my bro got his hp, it was in P5, behind my dad's back. my bro started off with a plan but i get what? a hi-card. in P6. ok... so maybe that's not so bad... but my dad refused to let me get a plan. why? cos i'm "not mature enough... maybe later." so he's telling me that my brother was "mature enough" at P5 and i'm not at SEC ONE. i can prove him wrong ANY FREAKIN' DAY.
2) since the start of this hols, my dad's been "do your homework. then do your revision. then do your tuition homework." ok. it for my own good... not need to tell me. so can i go out and, say, watch a movie with friends every week? "NO." so my pathetic life revolves around homework, project work and revision. to sum it ALL up, studies. how (pathetically) nice.
3) my bro has a gf. for about a week or so now... she's a great girl. my dad's not happy... but not not-happy enough to tell my bro to end the relationship. so can a guy contact me? can i go out with my bro and his male friends whom i do not like-in-that-sense at all? NO. :)
4) i believe that after a certain incident that happened this June, i've grown up enough to handle issues like BGRs, flirting, etc. pretty well. i've made a rules too. i won't get into a relationship with a guy till i'm Sec 3 or something. if i tell my dad that a guy likes me, he'll flip. and a there's a guy who likes me. so do i tell my dad? no. why? he'll flip.
i've tried. and he flipped.
so don't tell me that i should give it a go.
I ALREADY DID.
so what's the problem?: i can't have a guy liking me. even though i only like him as a friend. why?: my dad'll kill the guy.
5) lastly, i can't talk on the phone with the guy that likes me. or any guy in that case. why? my dad or mum will intercept the call, listen in for awhile, then cut the line. happened twice. in a week. and other times, they just listen in. they just invade my privacy. and the next day, they don't say anything. so how do i know? i'm a smart girl... i know. i can tell. and add in a dash of womens' intuition, i can practically predict when they'll intercept. but too bad i'm not a woman yet.
that's about all i can recall for now. i've realised after this crying incident that i've been bottling up 6 years of jealousy, angst, hatred, etc. and now its all flowing out. i feel much better, better than i've ever been in years... but i feel sad too.
my bro told my dad and mum what i told him that night. which is what i typed above. so now, my mum's avoiding me, treating me colder, while my dad's trying hard to make amendments.
it hurts. as in the way my mum's reacting. i'd rather hold everything in for a couple more years than to have my mum act this way towards me.
my vision's blurred now...
you might think that i'm upset among minor things... maybe you're right. maybe all these ramblings are the result of adolscence. maybe i'll look back on this blog entry and say "Noreen, that was stupid." maybe its because of all the hormones in my bloodstream.
but for now, its a form of therapy... you know, the say-it-all-out-and-feel-much-better one.
i'd probably be more mellow when school reopens... still as cheerful, but more level-headed. much more level-headed. since i've let these emotions out. thanks for reading... i really appreciate it a lot.
thanks. =)
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